I’m finding writing my DOODAH posts very difficult in the current climate. My blog is about dementia not the virus, but the two have become entwined. Covid has invaded our lives just as it’s invaded the majority of lives across the planet.
We all have our opinions on the situation we find ourselves in and most opinions will, quite naturally, come from within the framework of our own experiences, our own obligations, needs and desires. We can only agree on a superficial level.
I told myself this when I visited Leaf on Tuesday – the first time in six weeks. Once again I was subjected to humiliation, at least that’s how it felt to me. Three young nurses escorted Leaf into the empty dining room where I’d been instructed to sit at a large round table, masked of course. He was told to sit opposite me. He struggled, he didn’t want to, he wanted to come and hug me, they held him back – it was incredibly hard not to pull them off him and give them a very strong piece of my mind, but I knew, even in that instant, that I couldn’t. Finally he sat down, his head hung low whilst, once again, I tried to explain to him what’s going on. The nurses retreated making me promise we wouldn’t touch each other. They left the room but I was aware of them peeping through the glass panels in the doors to make sure we were obeying ‘The Rules’.
To say it was horrible is an understatement. The madness penetrated my consciousness to the deepest level, that place where full awareness is trying so hard to hide away. These young girls, naturally, have a different point of view. They have a job, and have to do as they’re told or they will lose it. Even if they think the rules are illogical, they will probably convince themselves that what they’re doing is absolutely right in the circumstances. But what about those who have loving hearts, who can empathise, relate to the pain that a husband and wife, who are restrained from embracing, must be going through? Do they go home at night, hug their partners and children, if they have them, and remember that sad old couple who weren’t allowed to touch each other? Do they feel guilty that they were a part of the charade? I would hope, for the sake of their higher selves, that they do. Others, of course, won’t give a damn and proclaim sanctimoniously, that it’s for the greater good. Tell that to the majority whose lives have been sacrificed on the altar of Covid.
I should go back now to the early morning of tuesday. A day which, once again, changed our goalposts.
My first appointment was at the prefecture in Auch where I was to hand in the relevant documents to the authorities and record my fingerprints. I was completing the formalities that will, in due course, result in my resident’s permit under the UK’s withdrawal agreement from the European Union (titre de séjour dans le cadre de l’accord de retrait du Royaume-Uni de l’Union européenne.) I suggest that any British immigrants who haven’t yet applied for this, do so pronto. That out of the way, I proceeded to the doctor’s.
I filled him in on the situation with Leaf and asked if I have the right to look for a urologist who would be able to see Leaf sooner than the end of January, which was the earliest time according to the latest news from the gerontologist. I was told yes and, not only that, the doctor booked me an appointment in the Tarbes clinic for two day’s hence. I was chuffed and, having been given a blood test for my swollen ankle and an appointment for an X-ray, I left feeling quite upbeat. Not for long …
My afternoon appointment at the hospital was, on this occasion, with a colleague of the gerontologist, a young man of British/Mauritian descent who speaks perfect English. He was a fantastic listener who bore with me through the saga of our situation. At the end of my outpourings, which included, of course, telling him that our G.P. had made an appointment with a urologist in Tarbes, he disappeared for ten minutes to pass on this news to the gerontologist. He returned to inform me that Leaf was due to see the ‘travelling’ specialist at the hospital on the 27th January, when they would be doing an investigation by putting a camera up his urethra to ‘have a look around’ before deciding what can be done – a stage further on from an initial appointment which was all we would have in Tarbes.
Immediately I could see this was logical. Tarbes was cancelled and we were to face at least another six week’s wait before Leaf can come home. The only consolation was that I was going to see him again for the first time since the 6th November. It turned out not to be the brief but joyful reunion I’d anticipated, but the humiliating and distressing incident with the young nurses.
I drove home feeling dreadful again but not so dreadful that I didn’t mull over what had been said. Then, out of the blue, my memory kicked in. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? I’d been looking into the future and forgotten what had taken place on the 28th September, just two weeks before Leaf went into hospital. He’d had a prostate check, an echography. For the last ten years, I’ve made sure he has a check every two years. When I got home, I dug out the report and images along with those from 2018 and 2016. So, I deduced, they don’t need to put a camera up inside him which would, no doubt, be a very uncomfortable experience for my poor man!
The next day, I wrote a long letter to the gerontologist – I’m sure she’s getting fed up with me but so be it. It’s Leaf’s welfare and I’m responsible. As readers will have gathered, I don’t go in for ‘white coat worship’. We are, effectively, employing medics to resolve our health problems and are therefore entering into a contract with them. Anyway, I attached the echography reports and suggested that as I had ongoing evidence of the evolution of Leaf’s prostate problem, they could send the reports in advance to the urologist and the appointment time at the end of January could be used to rectify the situation using a simple procedure. There are several options, I understand. Of course I realise that the logic of this idea is likely to be overruled by the system and the allocation of facilities etc. but I have to try. You never know, by some miracle, the urologist might be a little flexible.
I haven’t yet heard back to the gerontologist who will have received my email on Friday morning so I can’t expect a reply before tomorrow at the earliest. And tomorrow I will be going to the hospital to see Leaf. Visits are now only allowed once a week, for 45 minutes. Will they deny me a visit on Christmas Day? I will deliver the echography images and the results of the accompanying blood tests. If I get to see the gerontologist, who knows what my reception will be. However, I do have a few questions for the jailer nurses!
• has Leaf actually had COVID?
• is there COVID in the ward?
• if so, why isn’t Leaf wearing a mask and gloves? Aren’t masks to protect others??? In this case, me.
• why am I wearing a mask if he’s already had it, or can he get it again?
• do they, the nurses, sleep well at night?
Their answers will be revealing.
A very HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all my readers!
A big thank you to those who have taken the trouble to comment or email me.
I hope that 2021 will see a biblical change for the good.
doodahtwo.home.blog 
Hello Sue,
I am very sorry to hear of all your trials, you must be mentally exhausted by it all. I am so pleased that you have at last seen Leaf, even though the circumstances of your visit were so frustrating.
The latest developments of the virus are causing even more sadness and the number of cases, we are told are rising sharply. But, as we know the majority of people who get this virus have no or mild symptoms so again I am left with doubts about the justification of all the hardships and sadness the governments are placing on their citizens.
Good luck with your battle to get Leaf’s appointment and I hope you get some logical answers to your many questions.
Adrienne xxx
LikeLike
Dear Adrienne, I feel rather like a slow-puncture in a tyre that has to last until I get home. Keep pumping it up and it’ll make it in the end. I have to persevere.
You well know my thoughts on the ‘virus’ and as long as the PCR tests are used, the powers-that-be will declare those who test positive to be new cases – even though the majority will have no symptoms. See this report from the WHO. (Title: WHO FINALLY ADMITS PCR TESTS CREATE FALSE POSITIVES). It’s tragic that fit-for-purpose tests are not being ‘allowed’ because they will produce results that go against the ‘justification’.i.e. the Great Re-Set (see WEF).
Those who don’t question, don’t question because they don’t want to hear the answers.
All I can say is Thanks a bunch! Whose side are they on????? Perhaps they think that the WEF agenda is just great.
I shall go on fighting. Sue xxx
LikeLike
Hi Sue
What an awful hospital visit and how disappointing and frustrating.
I feel for you both and hope that Leaf is able to understand why you can’t hug each other .
Wishing Happy Christmas doesn’t seem very apt at the moment.
Thinking of you. Lots of love Gail
LikeLike
Thanks Gail, I have been invited and will go. As a friend of mine said, she’s in tier free! I wouldn’t be nearly so mad if I believed everything we’re being told, but I don’t. A problem when you’re a natural investigator, you want to get to the bottom of things to understand them. Will email separately. xx
LikeLike
Oh Sue you’re being so strong please make sure you look after yourself as well. This year has been so difficult for everyone but especially where loved ones are separated without being able to touch when they do meet. I wish you a calm Christmas and I really hope that 2021 turns over a new leaf and we can all get back on track. Much love. Trisha xx
LikeLike
Hi Trisha, Thank you but I don’t feel in the least strong. I feel like a volcano about to erupt. I’m sure there are millions like me. I am hoping that in 2021, this whole saga will come to a head and good will prevail. That’s the most important thing. I have absolutely no fear whatsoever of viruses, but am hugely concerned for the fate of humanity, particularly those who have the main part of their lives ahead of them.
I wish you a Happy Christmas and maybe we’ll be able to meet up again in 2021. That would be good. xx
LikeLike
Oh Sue, what an awful visit but I suppose at least you are being able to see him however briefly. Please try to take a little comfort in that – unfortunately over here many homes are not allowing any visitors which is so cruel for everyone involved. Please take care of yourself and make sure you have some peaceful time for you, it’s so important that you don’t get poorly. Hopefully you will hear more from the Drs soon, if anyone can fight them it’s you xxx The world is going mad. Sending you lots of love and support xxx Hoping and praying Nigel will be home soon either with you or in the care home near you where hopefully you can see him and be with him and start to take joy from each other xxx
LikeLike
Hello Susi, Today’s visit was mercifully more relaxed. There were only two nurses, both quite senior and sensible. Sadly Leaf was away with the fairies. We had trouble getting him to stand on the scales to be weighed. I had to stand either side of them and get him to hug me standing on the pad, so that was good. He’s still as skinny as ever, in fact more so, but that’s no surprise. Just under 9 stone. No news from the doctor yet. I wait to hear.
Tonight I’m really distraught, Pepe, Leaf’s absolutely beloved cat, and mine too, has gone missing. Three nights now and he’s a very routine animal. It’s so awful, he was being a huge comfort to me, much more so than before Leaf left. I’m praying he comes home or, if he’s dead, it was quick. He’s only 13. xxxxx
LikeLike
Hi Susi, I know we are lucky compared to some. I cannot excuse the cruelty that is being imposed on so many. A sure recipe for death through despair for those locked away. This comes under the heading of torture. Those who are responsible must be taken to task.
I am okay albeit missing Leaf horribly and now our beloved Pepe has disappeared (4 days ago). Leaf was utterly devoted to our little cat so I won’t tell him for the moment, just cross my fingers and pray hard that he will come home.
Once Leaf is home, hopefully by the end of February, I will fight hard to keep him here, safe and away from all the horrors going on outside. I will not, unless absolutely forced to, let him out of my sight again and into possible further lockdowns. I am not optimistic that these restrictions will be over for a very long time.
Take care and lots of love to you and Keith. xxxxxx
LikeLike
Oh Sue, what a nightmare. To be allowed to visit but not touch. You must have more self restraint than I do. In such a circumstance it would be almost beyond me to hold back from my other half. But at least reading of your subsequent visit you got to hug him for the weigh-in. Hopefully you are allowed to continue to visit him. It almost seems inappropriate towish you seasons greetings so I will just wish all the best for both of you and hope with all my strength that 2021 will be better for us all. Steve
p.s. I hope Pepe the wanderer has returned to home and hearth. 🤞🏻
LikeLike
Hello Steve, indeed it’s very hard to keep up a brave face – not v. good English! This last visit there were only two nurses in evidence, they were more senior and more compassionate, so they turned a blind eye (or at least weren’t watching) so I was able to give Leaf a brief hug. He’s even thinner than he was – down to 56 kilos.
Thank you for your good wishes. I have to admit, Christmas jollities seem out of place this year but I hope you will be able to enjoy some good cheer. As for 2021, I pray that good sense and goodness in general will prevail. Take care xx ps no sign of Pepe which is horribly upsetting – I am hoping against hope he will return
LikeLike
My sympathy to you both at this very distressing time. Physical contact is particularly important for Leaf, and you have been denied the chance to communicate. Mum is 102, in good health, thank heavens, but none of the family can give her a hug or kiss at any time. You have suffered so much due to the system, and our thoughts are with you both. Hopefully a Happy Christmas and much Happier New Year. Xxx
LikeLike
Hello Anne, I see my reply to you didn’t make it onto the site. I have no idea why. My apologies. Thank you for your sympathy, it is hellish for so many who are unable to see their loved ones.
I was very happy to hear that Eileen is in good health – marvellous for 102! I do hope you’ll be able to see her again soon. These lock-ups can’t last forever, they are completely inhumane.
I hope you are able to enjoy some good cheer over Christmas and that 2021 will see happier days for everyone. xx
LikeLike